Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
