I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
