i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
