im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
