drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
worst night to have a conscience
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
