um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
