Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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