At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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