"it" just moved
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
