worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
