I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
