can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
