Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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