you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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