Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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