The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
