At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize