Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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