Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
