My Higher Power is John Stamos
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
