Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
