ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
