i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
