margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
