I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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