I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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