can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My dick has a subreddit
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
