The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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