I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
MIDGETS
????
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize