The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
