Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
