ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
