Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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