Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
