Banned from zoo.
Again?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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