youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
