On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
