I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
