dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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