last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
