I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
