She said her name was "party"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize