I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
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