How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
