3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
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