lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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