I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
bring money and cleavage
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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