dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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