dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
40s are totally the cure
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
