he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
