The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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