I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
