I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
that is very illegal...i love you.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize