Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
