Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
