At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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