I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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