my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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